Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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