I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
