would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
