are you still at the devil's house?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
