And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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