I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I need moral support for this bender
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
