we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
