Where is the hickey?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
