and you said cock pushups were impossible
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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