Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
