I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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