I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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