and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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