Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
