I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
