all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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