Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
