He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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