i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
