we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
