ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
