I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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