just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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