YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
