That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
