just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
