I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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