yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
