I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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