took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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