so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
