The maid of honor just puked.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
