I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
