How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
