Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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