K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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