I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
is wine microwaveable?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
