What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
