That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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