Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
