hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
