idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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