A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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