bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
