That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
