I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
