ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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