Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
