thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
