oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
