these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
