When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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