i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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