i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
