i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
